Ole, Cait Sith!
by Dark Suzaku
Summary: A new Mexican Restaurant has opened in Costa Del Sol, and Cait Sith takes his friends to eat there...


OL'E, CAIT SITH!  
  
By Dark Suzaku  
  
Cait Sith has taken all the rest of AVALANCHE (except Yuffie) to the Mexican Restaurant that has opened in Costa Del Sol. Everyone is seated.  
  
Cloud: Okay, what's the purpose of this again?  
  
Cait Sith: Isn't it obvious? We're having dinner!  
  
Cloud: No, I meant why did you take us here for dinner?  
  
Cait Sith: I'm just doing it to be nice!  
  
Barret: More like you're doin' this so we'll trust ya and forget that you're a spy!  
  
Tifa: Can we just look at our menus?  
  
Cid: I would by I don't have a menu! That dumbass waitress didn't give me one!  
  
Yuffie: Who are you calling a dumbass waitress?!  
  
Cait Sith: Yuffie! No wonder I couldn't find you, you're the waitress here?  
  
Yuffie: It's only a temporary job 'till I earn enough money to buy that Shinra Villa hut all for myself!  
  
Barret: Buy the hut? Damn, Yuffie, you know how much that thing costs! You'll be waitin' tables for the rest of your life!  
  
Red XIII: Barret's right, you can't possibly earn enough money that fast.  
  
Yuffie: Who says I'll EARN all the money, nyuk nyuk nyuk!  
  
Vincent: Can we just have our menus please? The sooner we get out of this place, the better!  
  
Yuffie: Fine, here are your menus. I'll be back when you're ready to order.  
  
Cid: @#%^!!! Everything on this damn menu is too spicy!  
  
Cloud: So?  
  
Cid: I can't eat anything too hot or the heat will ignite with the tobacco inside of my lungs and I'll explode!  
  
Aeris: That's what you get for smoking, Cid!  
  
Red XIII: There's once thing that isn't spicy.the taco salad!  
  
Cid: Then I'll just get that then.  
  
Aeris: Cait Sith, what will you eat?  
  
Cait Sith: Me? I can't eat, I'm a toy!  
  
Aeris: Oh yeah, that's right.  
  
Barret: We all eat, but he don't! Somethin' screwy's goin' on here!  
  
The door to the restaurant opens. Rufus Shinra, Tseng, Reno, Rude, and Elena walk over to a table.  
  
Barret: #@_%^#$! The Turks! I knew Cait Sith was up to no good!  
  
Cait Sith: I didn't invite them here, I swear! Rufus must have come here on his own.  
  
Yuffie: It's Ruffie and the Turks! I'll get a lot of cash for this one!  
  
Rufus: First of all, It's Rufus and secondly, who the hell are you supposed to be?  
  
Yuffie: I'm Yuffie and I'll be your waitress tonight! Here are your menus!  
  
Tseng: My order will be a beef burrito.  
  
Reno: Hmmmm.I think I'll have a chimichanga.  
  
Elena: Enchilada for me, please.  
  
Rude: Nothing.NOTHING BUT BOOZE!  
  
Yuffie: Yeah, got it. What about you, Ruffie?  
  
Rufus: RUFUS! And I'll order two tacos, two helpings of refried beans, and five cheese quasidias.  
  
Yuffie: Heh heh heh.I'm gonna be rich in no time! What about you guys, have you made up your minds yet?  
  
Cloud: Two soft tacos.  
  
Aeris: Beef Burrito with Mexican rice and refried beans.  
  
Tifa: Same here!  
  
Red XIII: I want a Mexican casserole.  
  
Barret: Two hard Tacos.  
  
Cid: Taco Salad.  
  
Vincent: ...I want nothing.  
  
Cait Sith: Same here!  
  
Yuffie: Thank you, I'll be back with your dinner in a while!  
  
Yuffie leaves and the Turks turn to face AVALANCHE.  
  
Reno: I didn't know you were going to be here.  
  
Barret: Well, we are and if you try anything, I'll.  
  
Rufus: Please. We came here for dinner not for fighting. After dinner's a different matter though.  
  
Barret: Oh no, ya don't! I'll settle things here and now!  
  
Barret shoots at Rufus. Rufus dodges and the bullets kill the chef.  
  
Yuffie: Now look what you've done!  
  
Tifa: Now we'll never have dinner!  
  
Cait Sith: Don't worry, I'll be the chef!  
  
Cloud: Oh, God, no.  
  
Cid: You don't know how to cook for beans!  
  
Rufus: Don't mention beans, they were among the things I was supposed to get!  
  
Cait Sith: I'll have you know that I have a long experience in cooking!  
  
Cid: One month tops, I'll bet!  
  
Cait Sith: I'll show you!  
  
Cait Sith begins cooking. While he does, Sephiroth comes in.  
  
Cloud: Sephiroth?! What are you doing here?!  
  
Sephiroth: I came for you, Cloud. You've stood in my way for too long and now it must come to an end.  
  
Cloud draws his sword, as does Sephiroth. Cait Sith arrives with Rude's booze.  
  
Rude: Great! Now I'll have something to drink as I watch the fight.  
  
Cloud and Sephiroth start fighting. Eventually, Cait Sith comes out with everybody's dinners.  
  
Cait Sith: It took me quite a while but I've finally.  
  
Sephiroth swings his sword at Cloud, misses, and knocks all the trays of food over.  
  
Cait Sith: OKAY, NOW I'M PISSED!  
  
Cait Sith grabs a bottle of hot sauce and sprays it at Sephiroth. Sephiroth dodges and the sauce goes into Cid's mouth, for Cid was yawning at the moment.  
  
Cid: OH, SHI.  
  
Cid and the entire restaurant explodes.  
  
Cloud: Now we won't have any dinner!  
  
Hojo appears out of nowhere.  
  
Hojo: It doesn't matter anyway.  
  
Cait Sith: Why?  
  
Hojo: Because in Final Fantasy VII, Mexico DOESN'T EXIST!  
  
THE END 


End file.
